We have always been taught, as human beings, not to lie, cheat, or steal. We are taught good manners, how to speak, how to act, how to behave since we are children. However, every parent, or caregiver, has wondered at some point in their lives what does it take to raise children. At the same time, parents’ performance is criticized the most, but are told to leave things to “instincts.”
“We are taught all sorts of things growing up. But never once were we taught how to be good parents”Riham Monzer – The World of Parenting
Traditional Beliefs on Parenting
Traditionally, parents are told to trust their instincts to raise their children. However, in case of any doubt, they should rely on their own upbringing or on the experience of any of their friends, neighbors, and family. We often forget, that our beliefs, education, system, differ from the one next door. That alone should be enough not to rely on anyone else’s parenting, however, we are told that we have no other choice. Isn’t it weird how we are told to leave the hardest job in the world… to instincts?
Lack of knowledge in parenting, in addition to all different life factors such as stress, work, and our lack of self-attention, leads the parents to commit mistakes. These mistakes lead them to believe that they are doing something wrong. For example, when a child manifests negative traits such as stubbornness, aggression, hostility, anger, lying, jealousy, and other traits, parents instantly believe that they are doing something wrong. Consequently, and because they are unbeknownst to how they should deal with such situations, they react to such traits by yelling, comparing, blaming, and criticizing the children.
However, this behavior pushes the parents into a never ending cycle of the same mistakes and same untreated problems.
So, How To Deal With These Parenting Mistakes?
If parents already dealt with a past mistake either they or their children committed, it does not mean that that same method could work on future mistakes. Therefore, it is of great importance that parents educate themselves. Parents should always be alert, read books, assist to conferences if possible, listen to podcasts, like “The World of Parenting Podcast with Riham Monzer,” and so on.
Moreover, the same way every family has a pediatrician, all families must have a psychologist. This therapist would follow the family in all their life stages. In addition, a therapist will make sure that there are no grave mistakes committed that would affect the child’s personality and mental health, in both the long or short term.
It is Never Too Late
There is always room to learn, there is always more time to spend in trying to figure out parenting. However, once you start learning and fixing your relationship with your children there is no going back. Parents should take their job very seriously and diligently. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, not a once-every-three-day type of job.
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